


What Could Have Been

by quinnfabs



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1864386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnfabs/pseuds/quinnfabs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn and Mercedes ponder their friendship in different ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Could Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own the characters or the show. Comments are appreciated :D

Mercedes sees Quinn’s bright pink hair on the first day of school and thinks back to their sleepovers when Quinn had muttered angrily how she wished she could just change her personality, her life, and be someone completely different. How she wanted nothing more than to forget that any of this ever happened and move on with her life. How sometimes she wondered if she could pull off being another person, if she even had what it took to change herself that way. Mercedes chalked it up to pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep. Because Prom Queen Candidate Quinn Fabray as anyone else? Unimaginable. 

Mercedes wishes that she took her more seriously because then maybe she could have helped her before any of this happened. Maybe she could have convinced her that there were other ways to move on, things that weren't as drastic, things that would let her find her happiness again in healthier ways.

When Mercedes sees Quinn’s new-found confidence so clearly in the way she walks, she realizes that maybe this is Quinn’s way of finding happiness. Maybe she’s tired of the All-American girl approach and has decided to finally try something new, something different, maybe even something better. And if Quinn is searching for her happiness, for herself, Mercedes isn’t going to stop her. Besides, what better time to change your look than when you’re in high school? 

Feeling inspired by Quinn Fabray for not the first time in her life, maybe with a little push from Shane, and even more motivation from her own desire to shine, she’s quick to question Schue’s intentions regarding auditions for Maria. Because she means it, she really is feeling pretty this year. Beautiful, even.

***

Santana asks if Quinn wants to join the Troubletones. Tells her that it’s the best way to get close to Shelby, tells her that she can’t keep the Unholy Trinity apart, that the three of them are easily the most talented people in the school. Quinn politely declines, and says that she’d rather not spend every single day doing the one thing she actually enjoys doing with the woman who her daughter will call mom when she grows up. It’s too hard. And too weird. Santana nods in understanding, and struts away. Neither of them bring it up after that. 

Quinn thinks, that maybe if Mercedes had asked her, she would have accepted. It would be hard not to, after everything that Mercedes had done for her. But Mercedes didn’t ask, so she doesn’t join. She wonders why Mercedes didn't ask, after everything they've been through. At the same time, she’s not very surprised, everyone hangs her out to dry eventually, and it was only a matter of time before Mercedes did the same. She thinks about how if maybe she was a better friend to Mercedes she could have been part of something great.

Santana tells Mercedes that Quinn’s not interested and that they should just drop it. Mercedes isn't so sure. She thinks about begging Quinn to join, bringing up some of the things they talked about before, how they wished they could have a chance at the spotlight and how Troubletones could be their chance at that. Before she gets the chance to actually talk to Quinn, she second guesses herself, because Santana does know Quinn better, doesn't she? So she lets it go, and cherishes her spotlight while she has it. 

***

When Quinn walks into the choir room with the news that she got into Yale, Mercedes claps and smiles brightly. She's glad that Quinn will have something like this, ecstatic that she's gotten the opportunity of a lifetime. Mercedes also knows that Quinn will make the most of it. She wants to congratulate Quinn in a more personal manner, but she's not sure if she's allowed to anymore. So she just claps with everyone else, and settles for a hug, later, at the end of practice. 

Quinn relishes in the hug, because it reminds her of comfort and security in ways that she never got from any other friend she had in her life. It makes her feel like she really can take on this scary world of college. 

***

Years later, when Mercedes is on tour and Santana and Brittany are there too, she wonders if things would have been different if Quinn had joined Troubletones in their junior year. If Quinn would be here too, singing with them. She doesn’t dwell on it too long though, because she has set lists to plan and songs to choreograph. Besides, Quinn’s busy. She’s a lawyer in Boston, making a name for herself in ways none of them had ever imagined. 

They still talk sometimes, on the phone. Small talk mostly. Mercedes wonders if they’ll ever have what they had before, when they used talk under the covers for hours about fears they would never dare to speak of around anyone else. Quinn wonders if Mercedes remembers the things she said all those years ago, wonders if she’d ever be able to bring up the fact that her fear of being forgotten is still as strong as ever. She wonders if Mercedes would be just as understanding now as she had been back then. But they don’t do that anymore, so she never bothers to brings it up. It's not her place anymore, and it's too late to change that, she thinks.

Maybe if they both tried harder after sophomore year, maybe if they were less inclined to follow what was expected of them, held on more tightly to their unlikely friendship, less afraid of what could have been, their lives would be brighter, more beautiful. But for now, what they have is enough, because at least it’s something. 


End file.
